Living On The Line

It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul.

Vision is the ability to see.  The word VI'SION, n. s as z.  [L. visio, from video, visus.]

• The act of seeing external objects; actual sight.
• The faculty of seeing; sight.
• Something imagined to be seen, though not real; a phantom; a specter. No dreams, but visions strange.
• Something imaginary; the production of fancy.
• Any thing which is the object of sight.

Regarding vision, in particular mine: yesterday I had an appointment for a much belated eye exam with the famed doctor of ophthalmology at Boston's prestigious medical institute.  Both the inner and outer waiting rooms of the large office he shares with five other specialists was packed full of people with varying degrees of eye difficulties ranging from cataracts, glaucoma, to viruses that can cause blindness.

After waiting for about 10 minutes his assistant called me into the doctor’s office where several minutes later the good doctor performed the usual battery of test on my eyes and vision.

When all is said and done, with corrective lenses, I can see normally 20/70 and can sometimes see 20/60. Over the years, this doctor has been able to achieved this level of eyesight for me by having me wear some kind of special contacts.

To explain my 20/65 vision, I have to first explain the 20/20 phenomenon or standard, which is found on the Snellen Eye Chart.  The term something over 20 represents an individual with respect to an average.  20/20 or twenty-twenty represents what the average person sees at 20 feet and is called normal vision.  If a person’s vision was measured at 20/40, it means that this person sees at 20 feet what the average person sees at 40 feet.  If a person had 20/15 vision, this means that they can see at 20 feet what the average person has to be at 15 feet to see.  So, it is individual over average or I/A.

Since my vision is measured at 20/65, it means that I have to get up to 20 feet from something to see that something, whereas the average (normal) person can see that something at 65 feet away.

The above line diagram describes in graphic detail what I am talking about.  To put it more succinctly I have between 29 to 33% of the visual acuity of that of the average person.  Simply put, I have to hold things a little over three times closer to clearly see them.

Oh by the way, there are two other things regarding vision… In the United States, the definition of Legal Blindness is someone who has corrected vision of 20/200 (twenty-two hundred) or less.  This describes a person who has to be at 20 feet to see something that the average person can see at 200 feet.

This supposedly affords this individual all sorts of rights such as Social Security Disability, or if the person has never worked, Supplemental Security Income.  They are also entitled to use Talking Books (books recorded on tape or disc recorded especially for the blind) and free mail services for recorded materials.  Various states and the U. S. Government will pay fully their college education and any other training that is needed to make them productive members of society.

In most states, a license to drive a car at any time (day or night) is granted depending upon whether a person has a minimum of 20/40 vision. A license to drive a car during daylight hours only³ is granted dependant upon whether a person can see a minimum of 20/70.

Click Vision Acuity Standards For Most States for a clearer description.

Anyway, the main aspect of my site is the automobile and the necessity¹ for driving.  It has been proven that if a person cannot drive, they will live in the bottom percentile income bracket in the United States of America; and probably be unemployable² and living on SSI or SSDI.

I can anticipate and have repeatedly heard people’s reaction to this description of freedom vs. not driving.  Many sighted people who do drive have stated emphatically that they would have no problems if they could not drive.  Yet a pole of people who cannot drive says that these sighted people⁶ would have much difficulty, would quickly attain a low-income status, and would probably have many psychological difficulties.  Believe me, I WAS there!

In 1982 when I was 26, I discovered a tele-bioptic⁷ aid that allowed me to drive a car both during the day as well as the night.   In the mid 80s the state disallowed the use of this aid along with instituted vision testing every time someone renewed their drivers license.  I then feared the end of my freedoms.  In 1986, I went to a corneal specialist who, by the way, was taught by my current eye doctor.  This insightful young fellow fitted me with hard contacts enabling me to see 20/60.  After passing only the daytime requirements, my driving privileges were reduced to daytime driving only.

Driving…it all seems to be centered on that issue; the “it” being my life.  This life I am talking about has three parts: the life before driving, the life of driving anytime, and the life of driving during the daytime only.  The life before I drove a car was one of low income, few friends, and staying at home.  The life after learning to drive a car was a life of dating, making many friends, restoring old houses, and several months after getting a car, an immediate 200% increase in pay.  Yes shortly after learning to drive my salary was quite literally doubled.  After learning to drive, I found a smorgasbord of women eager to date me.   And, after getting a car, I experienced a life that I could only dream about before.   By the way, it was at this time that I met my wife.  

Then there is the current life of driving during the daytime only.  It is one of going to work.  And having to depend upon my wife to get me around at night.  She doesn't mind it.  

Most people I tell this phenomenon to, say that there must be something wrong with me, that they would get along just fine if they did not drive.  But I say onto them, “I was there,” with dozens of other people who themselves could not drive a car.  Along with me, these people lived on the outskirts of society with only friends who were in much the same predicament as they were in.  To this day, they are seldom seen in the mainstream because they cannot get out on their own.  Most of them don’t really work for a living⁸.  Some may work in some sort of sheltered environment or public service capacity.  I know dozens of these people, most who have significant psychological issues, simply because of the stress of not being independent.

Independence in the U. S. A. simply means…driving a car.

There is much talk about public transportation, but this  system barely covers less than 1/6^th of a major inner city’s needs much less the rest of the country. 

I had to face this reality when I was not driving. Busses just did not do it for me.  I spend hours waiting for buses when I could have spent this time doing something else.  The buses were often dirty and went through bad sections of town.  It was indeed a life on the line, the wrong side.

Even though taxicabs were another available form of transportation, they were often too expensive for regular use especially someone on a limited or fixed income.   These cars often smelled of tobacco smoke and were driven by people of limited intelligence.  They usually cost about $3.00 a mile with a minimum charge of $3.00 for showing up to pick me up, that is if they even showed up. I am convinced that the word hack came from the sound that cabbies made when they cleared their throats before spitting out the window.

No, in 1980, before I learned to drive, I lived at home most of the time in my modest $23,000 bungalow (financed by my father) in a “prestigious” predominantly low income neighborhood.  I did take busses or walked to work and to see friends, but I had a very meager boring existence. 

I cherished the time when I could go for a ride in the country, but I was often times at the mercy and whim of the people who took me places.  Boredom and wishing really was a way of life for me.  Talking on the phone was my connection to the outside world.

I remember just sitting for hours pondering, daydreaming, watching TV, reading or listening to music with little else to do, all the while wishing I could be like the other people in the world driving all about me on the streets, hurriedly going, who knows where.  I felt truly isolated and could do little at seeking a way out.  For you see, contrary to popular belief, to this day most people feel put out when they have to drive someone who cannot drive.

This is a long-standing issue because of the stigmatism surrounding sight in this country.  People go into “freaked out¹²” mode when they find out that a person has a vision difficulty.  They feel put upon if they are asked to take time from their busy schedules to drive someone to the grocery store or to a movie, much less to work. 

Another aspect is that in my adult life before I drove a car, I found that jobs were very scarce because of the limited public transportation.  This limited my ability to be competitive in the job market simply because most high paying jobs¹³ ended up being where one has to drive a fair distance to work.  I know, because in 1982, several months after receiving a driver’s license, my boss raised my salary by $6000 to keep me from leaving the company.  Several months after that, I did move on to another job that required that I drive there because no buses were available to take me and also I had to drive to clients sites to perform work.  If I did not drive, I would not have had this job.  It is just that plain and that simple!

Sure, people say that there are ways around this difficulty.  But statistically and for all practical purposes, these “ways” are very difficult and one has to be very lucky or exceptionally charismatic with hundreds of friends.  Most people who cannot drive are basically shunned by the society and becoming captivating is not possible because of the lacking support system.  Developing this personable methodology is a very rare exception and far from being the norm.

Most people who tout that one should have the talent to overcome disadvantages completely underestimate the strife and hardship that people who cannot be mobile go through.  These sited people who boast their superiority at being able to overcome adversities quickly become aware of the true nature of this issue when they themselves lose their right¹⁴ or ability to drive a car.   They then become the strongest allies for non-drivers because they suffer significantly as they themselves are not use to doing or being with much less.  They are also often times at the mercy of a husband/wife or the state  psychological/therapeutic/rehabilitation agencies. 

Driving is a freedom especially in the US, where adequate busses and trains are found in only two or three cities.  The city of San Francisco and New York City are two places that one can live without a car.  But these places are the most expensive places to live in the US.

The transportation rule is very simple.  The less expensive a place is considered to be “nice”, the less public transit is available.  And often times, there are no forms of public transit because people love the freedom that their car allows them to have and won’t support a public transit system.  A person can easily just get into their car and go anytime, anywhere, in any weather, without restrictions.   I mean, come-on, this is America.  Why have buses?

I know this…all of this…and though to this day people vigorously try, no one has successfully been able to talk me or anyone else in this predicament out of this belief.  To me, the car represents my freedom and liberty.  And the loss of these freedoms will be a significant hardship on me. 

In this climate of a sagging economy, the jobless rate is at an all time high since 1983.  Because of this, I have had to take a job in another city to keep me, my wife and children fed, clothed, and sheltered.  If I suddenly lost my driving privileges, I would most certainly get divorced and go bankrupt within, at the most, two to three years by exhausting all of my savings and retirement. 

Then it would be selling everything and moving into a questionable part of town, simply because I do not qualify for federal or state subsidies and assistance.  I am in that gray area of between 20/70 and 20/200¹⁵.

This writing came about when I visited my doctor for an eye exam and he mentioned something about seeing and driving.  I later went home and looked up the vision acuity standards for my state and misread a poorly designed web site chart similar to Vision Acuity Standards For Most States.  On the state’s web site, I saw the first category for something describing “CDL¹⁶” stating worse than 20/60 with both eyes: No License…and I almost came apart at the seams.

I sat there for a moment and could not believe it.  I reread the web page.  I then got up and walked around the room.  As the shock wore off, great fear set in.  It was as if I was suddenly to be taken away and shot, or I was told I would soon die¹⁷.  I felt as if all of the years I was free were now over.  I thought of what was I going to do about income and…a lot of other things.  By this time I was very frightened.

Several moments later after I gathered my wits, I sat back down again at the computer and I reloaded the web page and carefully reread it again.  Then, I looked at it again. 

Not knowing anything about classes or what was meant by CDL (Civilian Driver’s License?), and because the web page was designed so badly, I thought that the PDL designation described motorcycles or mopeds.  At one time my state did allow people with limited vision to drive them.  Now I see that this is no longer true that one has to have daytime driving privileges to drive anything with a motor.  On a poorly constructed list describing various privileges, the PDL designation was inclusive in this category and not a description of a group of two wheeled vehicles.   I then went and got my driver’s license and looked at the front where it said... ”PDL”.

I was so relieved…to say the least.  Still, I could not have helped but think that it could have happened.  It did before.  Many states in their infinite wisdom restricted with a sweep of a pen many people’s driving privileges by instituting vision screening upon renewing one’s driver license.   

In one state, this mandate came about in 1984 when an elderly man who retired to Florida found that his driver’s license had expired. He went to the Florida State Deputy Registrar to get a Florida State drivers license but found that he could not pass the vision test. He came back here where he went to the deputy registrar’s office and renewed his driver’s license. He then returned to his home in Florida. Some time later, he was driving through a residential neighborhood and drove his car over two small children playing in the street, killing them. After being stopped by the police, he said feebly, “I thought they were trashcans.” So, in a lightning speed political move, the state legislator quickly¹⁸ passed legislation to allocate several million 1980s dollars to institute vision testing for renewal of one's driver license.

Anyway, after I reread the vision standards, I momentarily felt releaved.  This incident gave me a greater appreciation for what I have and the freedoms that this “privilege” affords me. 

I still can’t help but think that with age, my eyes might deteriorate just slightly enough to prevent me from renewing my driver’s license.  After all, I am living on the 20/70 line and this next year I will have to renew my license, as I have to every so many years.

Mike 10/2000