Flower of the Sun

My love: I found here in a poor country on the other side of the world…a third-world place. She is this little woman who is giving of her whole self to me. She is devoted. She holds me when I am both sad and happy. She is my love. I love her with all my heart. I hope I am as giving and caring.

Our first meeting: When I arrived in her country, she was there at the terminal waiting. We traveled by train, bus and taxi for many hours. We then walked up six floors to her tiny modest two-room apartment. She held my hand and said nothing until we got to her home. There she led me to a small bed I thought she had prepared for my coming. I later found out it was her bed. She would sleep on the floor. Having not slept for 24 hours, I immediately fell asleep with her hand in mine as she sat on the edge of the tiny bed. It was in the middle of the afternoon.

Late in the evening, she woke me. I then smelled something good. She quietly took me by the hand and led me through the tiny room to a small table where she had prepared a large meal. Having not that much to eat during my travels, I was very hungry…and the food was wonderful.

She did not speak much. Her English was, at best, rudimentary. Yet, I could clearly understand her. While I ate, she hardly took her eyes off of me. She said in broken tong, she had already eaten. Later, she led me back to the bed where I fell fast to sleep.

The next morning came very early with her in her closet-sized kitchen cooking more food. She called to me so I got up and put on some clothes with the fresh breezes blowing warmly through the window washing over me. I then went to stand near her in the kitchen door. She then told me she had gone to the market very early in the morning.

Again the food of her native land was very good.

Later we walked hand-in-hand through the streets of her town, hearing all of the noises and smelling the different smells. There were thousands, walking, yelling, selling and talking. All seemed to be busy and cheerful. Soon it would be getting warmer, too hot to walk. So, it was back to her apartment where we could rest and I could further recover from jetlag.

This woman was a tiny lady who was a school teacher in what would be considered a high school level school. Since they don’t have anything like summer break, she arranged to take time off so she and I could be together.

First Contact: We met through an older lady, a friend I met many years ago in the diner not far from my apartment. It was thirteen years ago in late 1999 when she asked me again if I would write to this woman via email. I finally gave in. I sent an email, but I didn’t get a response for several days. Apparently, my to-be love had to go to a different school to read and answer my email. We wrote back and forth for over two years before I could save up the fourteen hundred dollars to travel to see her.

In that time, we did write almost every day and we did talk on the phone a number of times. I think I might have stopped corresponding if it weren’t for the older woman in the diner. She also being from the same country, coaxed me on saying that this woman is very kind. Finally, she said I ought to ask her to marry me. I told her that she had already asked me. My older friend explained that people in her country are utilitarian and also very devoted, that love forms after they are married. The question of marriage is to determine a person’s intentions. My older lady friend went on to say that her love for me was being formed in her mind by reading my words. I too began to grow fond of her. So, when I went to visit her, I brought immigration papers for her to fill out and sign.

I was told by the immigration service that it would take six months to complete the process of getting a visa for her so she could come and get married to me. It was called a fiancé visa.

When I was with her in her native land, I did not talk about this formality until shortly before I was to leave. I was insecure about the situation because I lacked confidence in myself. When I did ask her to fill out the papers and sign them, she was very pleased. She said four times very endearingly and very clearly, “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

After I returned from her country, I in a love sick state, quickly mailed the forms to the immigration office. All seemed to be on schedule until…

The fallen: I was at work when I felt the floor shake under me. It wasn’t much, but I knew something must be very wrong. Then the supervisor came in and said one of the twin towers had collapsed, that everyone should leave the city. We all boarded a bus and went somewhere up north to some kind of large gymnasium. After we got there, they told us the other tower had fallen. It would be very late in the evening when they let us return home. Fortunately, the internet was still up.

I emailed my dearest. I didn’t tell her about the twin towers. I didn’t want her to worry. I then turned on the radio and was able to hear all about what was going on. A few minutes later, my longtime friend Joe called me and we talked about what happened. It didn’t occur to us that immigration might be effected…which it was. It would be nearly three years before she could come to the US and be with me.

It would be a year later before I could go and see her. This time it cost me almost two thousand dollars and I had to borrow part of that money. Also, while I was gone, they laid me off from work. I found this out from Joe when I emailed him. So, instead of staying for two weeks, I stayed for two months. Joe and his family were able to move my stuff out of my very expensive but decrepit apartment into their basement. Now not only didn’t I have a job, I also didn’t have any means of supporting my love in America.

In one of our email discussions, Joe talked about him reading the law. One of the provisions of the immigration law was I had to earn an income of at least one and one half times the poverty level. I was barely earning the poverty level.

I never went on welfare, Social Security or anything like that. I really felt I wanted to make it on my own. I always was able to find work of some kind. The last job I had lasted nearly five years where I did some kind of menial work for the state government.

My Profession: I am supposed to be an accountant, at least that’s what I studied in college after I returned from Nam in 72. It was in the mid to late nineties when I went to a vocational school to brush up on accounting. I did have a bunch of interviews and people wanted to hire me, but…

I was with my love for a little over a month when Joe sent me an email saying he talked to the people at his work on my behalf.

Joe: This fellow and I met in Nam. We were in the same unit together. I don’t like to talk about this. The experiences there changed my life. Joe is OK. He seems to have fully recovered from the war. He is married to Nancy and they have three kids who are now grown and out on their own.

I was in Nam with the Special Forces for only three weeks when I was injured. I was later shipped back with an honorable discharge and Joe stayed behind. I lost track of him. Then one day, I was sitting at the bus stop when this voice I had not heard in 31 years said something to me. I cannot forget his voice. It was the voice of one who carried me to safety after I was badly hurt. We have been good friends since.

New Job: Several weeks after Joe’s email about talking to the people at his work, Joe wrote to me and said his friend agreed to hire me for a trial period. He also said he found me an apartment suitable for two people. The apartment was within walking distance from the new job. I felt apprehensive about all of this because in the past, this stuff never worked out. But Joe assured me that all would be OK.

I then readied myself to leave my love and return to my new home.

You-know, I almost decided to stay. I guess if it weren’t for my best friend Joe, I would have given it serious consideration. Though this place is really poor, it seemed very friendly and warm.

This woman I am endeared to and did eventually marry was herself once married. Her husband of five years was killed in a vehicle accident while crossing the street. She had to raise her son from age 4 until he went to college away in another city. I didn’t meet him in person until long after we were married. I did talk with him on the phone a number of times. After he graduated in 2004, he got a job with his government in the nation’s capital. I’m not sure I agree with his politics.

Though her extended family could not speak English, they did like me very much. They said through her that they were very happy that their sister was in love again. So, the idea of staying seemed OK, despite the fact that everyone was very poor. I was also starting to learn their language. Then some unrest took place in another city which caused me to rethink my desire to stay. Plus there was a job and a new home waiting for me. So, it was off to the US.

Her brother drove me three hours to the airport. There he took me aside and said to me in very broken English to in essence to please take his sister away from here back to America. I said yes and he understood. I then held her for over 15 minutes as we both cried. Then I boarded the plane for the 26 hour fights home.

I arrived very tired at the empty terminal at 3:45 AM. Joe was waiting. Because of the snow, the flights were delayed and it took an extra 4 hours. Joe then drove me to my new apartment. When we arrived, his wife Nancy was asleep on the couch. She had been preparing the apartment for me. We sat and talked for about an hour. Even though we were all very tired, they were very interested in my travels and they wanted to show me the new apartment. I was anxious to tell them about my trip. I also wanted to ask them about the job and the apartment.

Soon, it was time for them to leave. I found my way around the clean apartment. I showered off a month’s worth of dirt and then fell into my old familiar bed. I slept for 13 hours. It was 7:45 PM when I finally woke.

After I ate and did the dishes, I then sat there for some time doing very little. The Internet was not on yet, so, I could not write to my love. The phone is on and at 11:30, I called my love.

I started my new job three days later. I was not only apprehensive, but I was excited also. This job would pay quite a bit more than my last job. I left early and took my time. I arrived ten minutes early. They wanted me to start at nine so the others could get in and such. Joe met me at the front desk and took me to his boss’s office. It was our old company commander. He must have been 75. “I’ll be behind you all the way!” he said firmly. I began to be more confident and less worrisome. The apartment was very expensive. And, I wanted my love to be happy.

First marriage: I’ve been married once for a short time. I was about 30 and she was 21. The marriage only lasted for about three months when her mother caught up with her and spirited her away. I never saw her again. Along with the divorce papers, there was a restraining order. As I look back on this, I now realize this girl was really bad for me. Even though she was quiet and immature, if we would have had children… Well, even though I was devastated, I really was better off.

I did date after that, but I never wanted to marry any of the women I was with. But as I grew older, I felt more lonely. My life was going nowhere and I was not doing much that was good. That’s when this older lady took a motherly interest in me. Oh yes, her name is Rose. She was 64 when I met her. She was almost 70 when she pushed me into writing to my love.

First Day: The first day on the job was…not so good. At least I didn’t think so. Joe said everyone understood it would take time for me to learn. Few people talked to me. I sat in my cubical learning all of what I was expected to do.

Soon, I did learn the job and…for the first time in my life, things started to go well. They gave me more responsibilities and eventually I had my own clients. All was well…except for the immigration process.

This would take another two years and lots of hollering by the company commander to his friend the senator. The company commander’s name was Commander Jordan. He kept telling me to call him Frank or Mr. Jordan. He also said it was OK to save up my vacation so I could be with my love and get her used to being here in the USA. I saved up 20 days. She would be coming during the Christmas holidays. With all of the holiday time and my vacation time and some days the commander gave for a wedding present, I got the whole month of December off plus a few days in January.

She comes: Me, Joe, Nancy, the commander, his wife, and Rose… we were all there to greet my love.

When she saw me, she ran so hard and jumped up and hugged me crying.

Because she had been traveling for almost 30 hours, we decided to go to my apartment. There would be time enough to go out and celebrate.

We all sat and talked for about a half hour. My love was very glad to see everyone, everyone I wrote to her about many times. She was very shy but she did say a few words. Then everyone left. I then led her to our bed where both of us slept for over 14 hours. She was obviously tired because of her travels and I was very tired for not being able to sleep for two days. The next morning…well, the next afternoon, we awoke to a very nice day.

Twenty days later, two days before Christmas, we were married by Joe’s brother who was a minister down south in a small town in South Carolina. It was a small wedding with some people from work including the Commander, his wife, Joe, Nancy and Rose. None of my family was there.

Family: After I returned from Nam, my mother disowned me because of my injuries. I was brought up by my father who was 30 years older than my mother. They got divorced when I was about three years old. Dad passed away while I was in Nam. My mother got remarried and had two other children which I never knew.

My dad was said to be a rich man when he married my mother. But because of failing health, his money dwindled and ran out during my first year at college. Then I decided to train for the Green Berets. After I returned, my mother was furious because there was no money. That’s the kind of person she was.

My dad was very enamored with her outgoing personality and her seduction. She has been married four other times, two times before and two after. The last marriage, the fifth, I understand teeters on the edge of divorce. It’s her husband who threatens to leave. Since she has lost what made her appealing, her looks, she begs her husband who is seventeen years younger to stay. He too was enamored with an older slender exotic Bulgarian woman. This is what has been related to me by one of her daughters, which I never met. We just talked on the phone. These people still live in Las Angeles. I live in New York City. And, up to this point was OK. My job paid me enough and I have my love.

My new life: For over two years, all was good. I started to make new friends. A lot of these are my wife’s nationality. By the way, her English has much improved.

Joe, the Commander and I go out for lunch or I walk home where my wife cooks me lunch.

Yes, my wife. Even though she has some friends, she doesn’t venture far from home without me. She is a simple person and is pleased to just read on the internet, watch TV from her country on the internet, or sit with me while I read. She is just happy. However, there is one issue that hangs over our heads. She still doesn’t have her green card.

Tragedy strikes: The Commander suddenly passed away. Then his children took over the business. They immediately fired Joe. I feared the worse. I believed I might be next. The next day I came in and found my computer password had been revoked. As I was just about to get up from my desk, a woman from the city government came and said that I would not be fired. She then left and they restored my log-in privileges. But, things got worse. Over time, I slowly lost my clients, one by one. They didn’t ask for someone else. The new owners just pulled them away from me. Then I was left with very basic things to do. Finally, nothing at all. Then the company moved across town. I had to take two busses which took me almost an hour.

My wife knew things were very wrong at work. She could read this in my face. It was a hardship for me to get up and go to work. She tried to make it as good as she could. She showered with me washing me. She would lay out my clothes, make me a good breakfast and ready my coat and other items to keep me warm. She would squat on the floor to put on and tie my shoes. Then she would kiss me as I left, saying, all will be OK. Don’t worry.

Who I Am: For the first time in my life, I am a man who cares about living. I now am so very fortunate to have this tiny human who thinks about nothing but me. She tends to my every need. If she could, she would even provide me with my every wish. I am so lucky. But this was not my way prior to her coming.

When I was young prior to the war, life was good. My father cared for me and we got along great. He didn’t work that much and had time for me. I didn’t date that much in high school. I was mainly focused on academics and sports. I was rather athletic. I was wrestling teem captain in high school. There was great hope for me to follow in his footsteps and do similarly in business as he had done. I was unaware that he was going broke. I knew he had health problems and he let many things slip in his life, many things except me. It was after I started my second quarter in college in 1972 when he went broke. The investment projects he was working on didn’t come to fruition. I was the only one who knew this. That’s when I decided to avoid the draft by enlisting in Special Services.

Then after basic, I went for about 7 months to Green Bret training. After that, I proudly went overseas to serve my country. It was three weeks after I arrived when mortars hit our base. I was sitting in the cafeteria with several of the fellows including Commander Jordan when we were hit. All I could remember hearing was Joe’s voice.

After that, it was nine months in a hospital and then home for rehabilitation. It was a year later when I was let out to be on my own. It was at this time when I decided to look up my mother and find out who she really was. I found out alright. She was nothing like my father. She was an evil woman with a harsh voice. It was this voice who said, “You’re not my son!”

With the exception of a few months with a very immature girl, this time in my life would be almost 30 years of loneliness and extreme disappointment. I never really progressed in life and I would have very little money, working in minimal paying dead-end jobs. Then my dearest happened.

That’s when I became very happy when things started going right…and I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Now, it feels like everything threatens to go wrong again.

With the sudden death of the commander and Joe leaving the company…

There were times I wanted to kick the s out of the guy in the next cube who was poking fun at me and calling me stupid. Little did he realize, I could have snapped his puny neck with a flip of my wrist. It was all I could do not to go to prison for murder. Well, truth be known; over the years, I have become rather dossal. I had grown accustomed to people’s ridicule. Though I did get irate sometimes, I did nothing about it. It’s just that this time, things were going well. But, now I am falling back into the old life.

This went on for seven months… at first with nothing assigned to me. Then…suddenly, I wasn’t board.

One day, I noticed something interesting around work. If people weren’t working, they were talking about sports. I then pondered why people were so obsessed with sports. These guys knew all about who did what and when. There were things like point spread and fantasy football and… Then a thought occurred to me. “I wonder why they didn’t take a similar interest in investments and stocks.” Then…

Yes, I did keep myself occupied…for about seven months. Then one day while everyone else was out to lunch, one of the owners, a young bratty kid came to me and said I was fired. He concluded by saying I was nothing but a big F up. I knew at that point, it was time for me to…leave. I gathered up what little stuff I had there at work and I left. I arrived home in record time, 35 minutes later.

My wife asked me why I was home. I cautiously told her I no longer had a job. I thought she would be disappointed, but she was elated and hugged and kissed me. I felt for the first time in a little over three years, relieved. We fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The next several days were good. We did nothing. She talked about getting a job, but I told her it would not be good work. I told her she would be the one who would become stressed. Then on Friday, the police came. They wanted to ask me about some missing money at work. I pleaded stupidity. I feared the two owners were embezzling money from the company and… I would be blamed for it.

On Saturday, A letter addressed to my wife arrived from immigration. I opened it and read it. It in essence read, “Your Interview for adjustment of status will be….” It gave a list of items to bring, one of which was a letter from my employer stating my income. Also what arrived was my passport from the visa agency. In it was a single entry permit to her country of Malaysia. My love was in the kitchen when I opened and read everything. I put it all away and I sat in the big chair.

I must have fallen asleep because I suddenly felt her climbing into my lap. She asked, calmly, ”What are we going to do?” She then said four times very clearly, “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!”

I then told her what we had to do.

It was almost two hours after the big 747 left Chicago when I asked her, “Where are we?” She said, “Past Alaska.” I then fell asleep.

A day and a half later, we arrived in her home town. Her whole family: brother, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, father and her son were there to greet us. They then took us to our new apartment. They had pooled their money and nicely furnished it. They all left and we fell asleep.

OK. Did I embezzle money from the company? No! I…worked the stock market. I really didn’t gamble. I worked very hard researching and investing. I studied and memorized a lot of stuff. You-know, like sports lovers study and strategized based upon all of the little details about their favorite players.

Remember when the stock market went to fourteen thousand in late 07. I cashed out just before the crash. I mean I literally cashed out. I carried over 250,000 with me to my new country…tax free.

As for my company I was fired from? On the day I left, I mailed to the district attorney a report I wrote detailing exactly how the two bastards stole the money. After all, that was my job, auditor. These two bozos felt I was too stupid… So they paid no attention to me. Why did they fire me? I deliberately tripped over my white cane in front of a prospective client.

So, the most I could be charged with is tax evasion on $304,321.56.

Me? I was blinded in Vietnam by the mortar attack.

Joe? He carried me to safety twice. He helped me correlate the evidence against the two brothers. He also arranged for the passport and the cashing of my securities. Of course, I gave him $50,000 in cash. He does come to see us.

Rose? She doesn’t travel to see us. Why, because she lives with us. It’s a big house.

Ed  2012

Oh, my wife’s name. In her mother tong means something like flower of the sun.